Your son’s in stocks and bonds and lives back in Surrey
Flies down once in a while and leaves in a hurry
Your daughter never finished her finishing school
Married a strange young man of whom you don’t approve
Your husband’s hollow heart gave out one Christmas Day
He left the villa to his mistress in Marseilles
And so you come here to escape your little flat
Hoping someone will fill your glass and let you chat about how
You chased the sun around the Cote d’Azur
Until the light of youth became obscured
And left you all alone and in the shade
An English lady of a certain age

Neil Hannon (a.k.a The Divine Comedy)

For three years a man called Jesus had been causing a stir in the land of Israel. His teachings had impressed the academics; his humility and compassion had given hope to the poor and marginalized; and his miracles had amazed everyone. But on that particular Friday, this Jesus was tried and convicted on trumped-up charges, nailed to a cross, and left to die. It was the scandal of all scandals.

Easter for Dummies (a.k.a The Argyle Community Church Newsletter, March 2007)